Saturday, February 5, 2011

If I're to write a novel,this is how it would've been

CHAPTER 15, CASUALTY




I was that happy after a very long time. I guess, rather, I was this happy for the first time. You know, that feeling, the feeling of longing for someone, To wait for someone, To think of someone. You always have it for your Mom & Dad, your Siblings. But for someone off-new, who has turned special to you, is quite a bit different. Especially if you think she's a crush, and you are giving her a try, make her your girlfriend.



'my!’, as I called her, her full name was kritika nish menon, too sexy of a kind, heavy enough to put a first trot impression, even without seeing her. Long hairs, rum eyes, her sexy mole below her collar tips, figure made to make a killing for, She was as if packaged for testing mirrors in manufacturing. The mirror finds any fault, reject it. ’Tested OK' mirrors. She was good enough to turn-on anyone, leave me alone. And biggest of all, her talks. I could have lived without them. Until she started talking to me, and after that, it was me in to listen to her perennially. I even thought of time-machines & tape-recorders so as to keep myself up with her always. If there was infatuation, this was greatest of all. She was killing me, literally.



This was her night posting in a very long time, and that is what was making me very happy, this kind of happy. It meant 12 hours of freedom, our togetherness, in those misty nights, with the possibility of anything happening. Not that I was so inclined for sex, a kiss or an intimate hug could not have started anytime better, if I was to make sure she took me seriously, or at least for a longer run. When you are in a real love, sex is definitely not the first thing which springs up your mind, it’s the longing otherwise.



'Hey what’s up? You Busy?’, spranged her message.



'nope. Kind of just lazying around. Am having my hay days at ENT. no work almost.', I replied.



Damn,Hell. Why the fuck was I not speaking straight! Let's meet up. But it's brain which acts alot when heart is warranted to.



'So, howz your casualty? Hope you not that busy.', I thronged back.



With a damsel as hot as her on postings, there were bound to be casualties at any hospital of world I wondered.



'No, it’s kind of heavy. All these Saturday night boozers are up here with broken legs & puked-up heads. Kind of irritating. Plus the CMO is too busy issuing DDs, his way of minting money at best. So, I kind of alone to handle all this.’, She replied.



'Fucking bullshit asshole CMO!', I wanted to yell. But for my internship completion certificate I couldn't have done so. How the hell can he make a soft like silk, beauty of a soul, to be my full-time-girlfriend-in-sometime work around alone in that shit, with those shitheads! I mean chivalry dude.But then, DDs were the answer.



DDs, as drunken driving certificates, the way of making moolah in govt. hospitals if you are a Casualty Medical Officer, CMO. What happens is that all roadies, who even happened to have just rubbed alcohol on their lips, are caught up by the traffic police on Saturday & Friday nights & without questioning brought to govt. hospitals, to issue them up with certification of being drunkard by doctor on duty, so as to enable them produce all in penal courts. So big deal? Out of this, they blackmail money off these if-not-innocent-then-not-so-culprit-either beings, ranging anywhere from 1000 to 5000 bucks of which a part, say 10%,goes to doctor, as he issues a +ve certificate irrespective of whether the person infront of him is drunk or not. This way, the traffic managers manage to fill their own pockets, for their part of booze on Sunday nights, when they don't catch even biggest of revelers, and the doctors too, when their duty was to prevent others from doing the same. Here was Indian Penal Code & it's enforcement at best.



‘Shall I join in? I mean I can help if it’s going that heavy.’, I texted.



Help my foot; I just wanted to be with her, trying to get her hand in mine. My motive so strong, or say my infatuation so tempting, that I was ready to work for her, when all I do is try bunk work at my own postings. A high, that’s what I was in that time. Without even smacking!



‘I seriously hope you could’ve. But this bugging CMO, he keeping an eye over my every move! He won’t even allow me to go for a cup of coffee, leave aside asking permission for someone else to come & assist me here, that too a boy. Conservative fanatic high on corruption. Bloody Hypocrite!’



Girls sound astoundingly so sexy when they use such bad words. Bloody Hypocrite. I wanted to smash his head infront of CCTP’s patrol vehicle.



‘OK then, try having fun with that bugger!’, I punched in loosing hope too fast.



‘Hey, Can’t we meet up for dinner? I mean am kind of alone & have no company by night to eat. So thought if you could just come. By 1030 or so. I have got home made stuff. ’



It was fantastic, & fanatic enough, to bring me back to my keypads, and life. But for my brain infront of my heart, ‘Is that CMO gonna accompany you too?’



‘Stop rubbishing Rohan! That smelly sock is not my dad to accompany me everywhere. You have a bad sense of joke!’



I died for the smiley which tailed the message. If I could have only seen her wink in person. I was lost.



‘By the way, do you keep awake till then? I mean 1030 will be late I guess. No need if that’s gonna disturb you hero!’, her next message said.



Hell No! 1030 night by any standards was just an evening for any hostelite on campus. My life was probably more nocturnal than even the scariest of vampire bats on earth.



‘Ya, it’s a bit late. But you are alone na, I will better give you some company, or rather take some as well. Am also bit bored you know.’, I wrote, following all that with a smiling smiley.



‘So sweet of you, thanks my handsome. Meet you at basket ball court then. I will give you a missed call before I start. Bye for now.’



My ‘handsome’, and more importantly ‘My’ handsome. I read that message some 20 fucking times in order to cool down the steroids, which were pumping down & only down my body, as if the upper part was non-existent…







(TO BE CONTINUED IN CASE I HAPPEN TO WRITE ONE…)

Monday, October 19, 2009

What I missed?



Five & half years of my MBBS life,and I have missed few miniscule things i would have loved to be a part of(or say my bigger imagination!)

Here they go...

Great class of fore
Always thought of batch full of glam gals,dud bands,freaky stuff.But tell you my School was far ahead in that.My college felt bad in beginning.But i started loving it once my threshold definition made a U turn down.Probably,time to expect something from all-together new place i gonna be in sometime.

To be lead engineer for F1 Renault
I would have never loved to be on driver's seat.I never wanted to race.But would have loved to be the brain behind the fluid mechanics of f1 cars millions follow worldwide.It's a sport anyways(for the Indian govt!).But for my MBBS,I think i can't get a seat until F1 starts installing bio-coupling devices or ATP phosphorylators for powering their machines.Time for inventing them i guess!

To have directed 'a beautiful mind' or 'tata safari'
Movies are the biggest stress busters,and ads the biggest brain busters.If you can make them too.For the insight & imagination they involve.For one big way of showing your basic instinct.Even i could have directed ' A Beautiful Mind' or 'Tata Safari'.Not overconfidence,exact realization!

My UnderGrad at Caltech
My love not hidden,Engineering meant 'education' to me rather than medicine.But the latter for my dad's love.Always Wanted to mechanics or instrumentation at California Institute of Technology.For me,it's even more than Harvard School of Medicine.To my friends there,enjoy & love Caltech,and to my little sis,if you are reading this,fulfill my dream,I want to see Caltech through your eyes.

To have Someone...Opposite...
For first 3 years of my undergrad,I never knew what I wanted.Many things.Probably someone to talk to as well.A girl may be.For many who liked me & and far more whom I liked,their never was mutuality.Latter 1 & 1/2 year,I met someone.Expressed that to her,She moved on,I stayed there.So,to have some one...opposite...Still time to go.Wait's On,for a real acronym,a crash all the way!

To be the PM of AM
I can still achieve that.Not that i just want to be a PM.But the PM for change.To change our economic policy.Why do FIIs have to run doors when they are the one putting in the penny.For our defence  integeration,Why can't we be the Mossad,or Israel for that matter.For aggressive stance against china,if i get there,an Indian olympics in Arunachal is what i will vie for.India active,activated.To be the Next SuperPower,not in Indian media,But in chinese media!


Many other small things galore.Many not worth mentioning.Many beyond imagination.Few for dreams only.Not boring to me anytime,my imagination,i love.Although one i don't imagine,Medicine.I gonna prove you one day!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

AMD vs. Intel


Why AMD is better than intel?

For those of you who believe in(or know about) AMD,but hold a slice of doubt about it vis-a-vis intel,as i too had before my research,here's the most comprehensive link to settle down all your fundas.So that it's time for AMD inside,Intel outside.
       (I certify this link with personal use of AMD turion 64X 2.oGHz processor wrt intensive exhaustive multitasking high graphical application over a period of 2 years!)
    

Monday, March 30, 2009

Let rum bear your 'wise'key till Roman owe you a beautiful burning sigh,irrate-on-all Death




This ain't a philosophical edit as non-alcoholics are very well know to be weak,unadventurous,nerds, who never know 'dare' of life,stand 'lesser' & are not 'man' enough to satisfy their women or girlfriends(that's the latest i have heard or felt as per the demands of the popular sex!).By this time,the stronger part(so said) of the two coins would have started complaining of an inherent sarcasm in this post,but i suppose,it would be wrong & self-contradiction of themselves,non-alcoholics don't have brain to reach such literary adaptives,as are achieved by stronghold alcoholics,so i request you keep with the blog.Advantages & disadvantages apart,probably,most of you would have already read the header upon top atleast 2-3 times,pretty unsure which way it sounds the best.The centrality to me,however,laid in the very 5th word--'wise'key. Phonetically,i could think of two outcomes for that, Wise key & whisky.Whisky definitely imposes some powerful nodularity in my brain although,the very thought of getting worn-i-cked(the deficiency state!) brought me back to my 'wise' 'key'ful senses.Of the various explanations & persuasions i have heard about me being unmanly as i don't drink something wise,were my inherent tendency of being a looser,my 'slug' 'geese' attitude,my weak soul,you are an asshole,i don't know life,and being dumb,etc,etc.Probably,correct in a way,the 'man' those men are,apart from gynecomastia and testicular atrophy which sets in,although i know it doesn't hold much of a significance in this context(for those of you who are already much strong!).But have also heard of the high you reach,it gets you to 'talk' & your friendship reaches a new high,you discuss no boundary & unguard.True again,how much resonance that must be creating,although you never wanna talk of same when one is back to life(read orientation),for a resolve(that's the perspective of talk i guess).Sensefull talk really!


So for all that matter,I don't wanna be strong,am OK to be man sans superdom,I don't wanna 'wowman!' if that's the cool way of doing it,and I could read the header in a different way as well,am jotting it down for you if there's no B-complex flowing through your brain.




Let Rum bear your 'wise'key till roman owe you a beautiful burning sigh,irrate-on-all Death
Let Rum bear your 'wise'key till roman owe you a beautiful burning sigh,irrate-on-all Death





So hope you have your bout of 'wise'key or whisky as per your......
(For those of you who don't know-the weaks like me-'Romonov' is a vodka brand)

Friday, March 27, 2009

My First Movie!



Let me make it a bit more precise,I will better say my first movie with a girl.Definitely,putting the name of 'the girl' is out of the scope of this blog(although i wish i could have).However,the event in itself was out-of-earth-gravitational-zero(take that as 'High' if it went over head).Considering the geek that i am,it was an effort of one of my friend(girl) who tried to bring upon the melange(i suppose she is 'the girl' s best friend),although before that,i too had made few efforts to ask her out on one-or-two occasions,but they were not so definitive attempts.To be honest,over 1 & 1/2 year of our togetherness in college batch postings had put enough chemical activity in my brain to make me 'look forward' to her,or to 'wait' for her.I mean it was good listening to her & i always hoped she kept talking like that for time-being till clock gets a still.Coming back to movie scene,it was like some other usual day & i was trying to take a nap after my afternoon session class on surgery,with no idea of unusualness which was going to strike amber-white upon me.'The Girl' SMSed me if I was interested in taking her out for a movie.Boy,that was like somebody pumping adrenaline & asking if you wanna run,it was an absolute shocker.To my happiness,i got into whatever decent & tidy i had,put some perfume(borrowed one of course!) & went on to the college gate to receive her.I acted a bit busy on the way by attending to some false call,so as to make her feel that i was buying time out of my busy schedule for her,and for that,she was really someone Very Special(what an asshole i was to think of such a concept!).She wanted to see a Hindi movie-1920,a horror flick,which was a bit of hit that time.I too was happy with her choice,for the fact that i had already seen the movie,and so could devote my One Hundred percent upon her,rather than sharing some with movie(although it wasn't that bad either).Obviously,the best of scenes for me were when those loud banging sounds & scary scenes used to make her look for my hand,my support,and her hairs skimming past my forehead,too silky of a kind,probably as she herself was.That all used to send a current of depolarisation down throughout;call it goose-flesh or goose-bumps,whatever you like.Really,I felt like a 'man' taking his 'girl' out after defeating those enemies,past their line(again asshole!).During interval,we talked a bit,i fetched her some popcorn.Her fingers were cold as i could feel them whenever mine used to graze past hers while diving for those bouts of popcorn,and they were soft too.For now,i am not pretty sure if i was really diving for those edibles or otherwise.She was loving every part of the movie & so was I(although my screen was located a full 90 degrees anticlockwise to hers:)).I was enjoying every part of our togetherness(my friends call me tharki for that,but i guess that's what we all are).Definitely,I was more into the 'Company' than the movie,and probably,i expressed that to her as well,directly or indirectly.To this date, I am not pretty sure what kind of gift i would give her,if so any of such need arise,whether it will be a 'just-a-good-friend' kind of gift or 'I-think-it-is a crush-but-I-am-not-so-sure' kind of gift!Someone rightly said,life is like bubble gums & candies.
I will definitely miss that experience next time i go to some movie with some one else because I feel 'a first' always remains 'the first'!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Why White Matter?

The blog is called White matter,as I believe in it more than it’s grey counterpart which forms a little more than a thin table to the outer of the same ,in Human Brain.Probably,you will say that the latter is more superior & acts finer but as of me,I know I need to think of ideas first which are coarsest to begin with & much more difficult to generate.Fine tuning can always come later & I believe am capable of same to the best of extents as well.LEDs,CFLs,tubes are everywhere today but remember,it was the Bulb which came first & instilled the very idea of light. So welcome to my mind, my world,welcome to whitematter@anupam.

The College that was School!


It was like 9th cloud when i had scored rank 1603 in my CBSE-AIPMT(year 2004).I was the kedgiest person on earth i guess.But then,suddenly,i was like skidding hard on burnt road & biting dust.Actually it happened so as I had picked my final med school down south(boy those counseling days were awesome,we were like stars in sky millions of people gazing at us!),which happned to be in Chennai & was known as Kilpauk Medical College(famous for its surgical oncology and discovery of leishmania donovani).First thing which I wanted to make sure after landing at my campus was whether I was still at school or in college.Probably I was at Kilpauk Medical School(donot take ‘school’ as in Harvard medical school,rather as in xyz primary school).Actually the shock,said so,was with respect to the buildings,the lecture halls,the hostel rooms(yes they were quit old) & boy,the class composition had overwhelmed me(I mean I was supposed to be with this group of 100 for 5 & ½ long years).I could see my hard-toiled efforts of past 2 years flying high with respect to my education(read MBBS seat) but giving me a thud flat blow with respect to campus life I had dreamt of.Coming to class composition,there were two subsets of people — my fellow mates from CBSE-AIPMT & the local-state-PMT guys.Finding resonance amongst former was relatively easier(read 'relatively' with stress) but the latter took time.About the second mentioned,essentially all were like school studs(we were too,but to a lesser extent I suppose),who never used to slip into jeans & stuff,girls in those loose fits,none of them even close to what I had thoughtoff or dreamt about(so making girlfriends was out of question),many used to carry those heavy bags & separate baskets for steel lunch boxes and water bottles(I never did so even in my school),smartness was way-way out,English was in limited circulation,forget hindi(such short was its supply that it used to force me to think whether I was still in India or not),obviously the local lingo ruled.So,basically,there was no college attitude and stuff.I was stranded in no word’s land.It was sweet south music blowing past my chin(I was regretting why didn’t I go for Calcutta or Bombay med colleges which were also available to me).Study pattern & classes were schoolish(the use of color pens for diagrams,homeworks,girls & boys sitting separately,cram & vomit culture,etc,etc).Faculties don't need a mention(except a few).Hostel days starting the days with idlis(read rubber) & nights ending with hopeless seniors’ rags and riches were add ons.All in one,it could not have got better to start your college life with.
But as time went past,as today became yesterday,the duds,duxes & damsels of class emerged.People too developed attitude and became collegecious.I had picked few words out of the local lingo as well(da & machi was everywhere,although I knew I was using them jus to do some locale-butter-fly as I would have never used them out of my own interest).Years went past,faculties & departments changed.I too had a fair bit of experiences — from campus floods to awesome fests,from quota wars to extension strikes,from fashion geeks(so said) to literary leeches,from multiple love triangles to splitsvilla-s(I too had my share:)),from cramming parrots to accented aunties of class,it was all in one-5 star-solid star-the only campus circle kind of its type on earth.
But with so long atime,I made few great friends as well.Can’t say they are the best but definitely good atleast to say.I suppose this is how things are down south,with loads of good & obviously some bad as well.Whether a college is School or not,how does it matter,as far as it imparts reasonably good & quality education which prepares you to compete even with the best in the world,which I would say my college ultimately did.So,I suppose,its sweet home Alabama,na,rock hot KMC!

Monday, March 16, 2009

I know all the visitors upon this page are saying that a significant amount of text matter is missing in this link...Dont worry,in sometime,there will be loads to burn head upon...Till then,have water....























The state of world economies....Be it Nasdaq or Sensex...jobs are the new donuts!

I update(my blog) once a month,you know it's a mental cycle actually!